We had never talked again about it all that night. This was neither our choice nor fate. Is that all? About me? About you? About all our days and nights? We were next to the window. Looking to some cars passing through the street miles away, watching the different style shoes and steps walking further… I am the wrong one for you.” So am I!” Loving is not everything, we need much more than feelings. I tried to tell him slowly, he told me his story slowly, we lived really slowly that night… Listening to the same song, one of us was thinking about the first time that we had listened to it years ago, and one of us was thinking this song was the last one we were together but lonely… Wooden small houses, miniature blue spring flowers kept in a book, handwriting private love notes penned with sometimes hurt sometimes farness, tin post boxes rusted, life hurt companion, with all faithfulness and soul…. I am talentless to live with you, I am quick-tempered in seconds, I am in the bedroom, packing my all life – One shirt, one pair of jeans… The lover realised exactly what I was telling about the last story… We were both next to the door of our wooden house. One of us stayed home, one of us was out…

The Micro Love
Hülya Uçar.

He’s looking me straight in the eye, as far as could be, a million dialogs passed a life, with melancholy, joy and all doubts… Time always faces us, the shocking realities and surprising ceremonies all in one life. There has been no possibility to live the same moments again with same feelings, same hopes, same dreams… Something strange in our relation tone, never same… Why should anyone expect all good in life with endless pipe dreams and hopes? Would you ever live the same life with the same hurt to live the same beautiful moments again? Would I? I am confused. There had been many times you had wanted to leave before you got aged. Now, it is only time to stay at home, in the reliable neighbourhood, in the same city, with the same life, which you know really well with the same streets, same scent, same sense… It took plenty of years to be patient in every kind of moment in the life, I must say time works fine for it, it sure makes you realize that controlling the life and fate is never possible… It had never left you to do your exact plans forever before you decided to go away from the probable moment you would live. Everything might have been worse. Even I had a tough time around you in years, how grateful I am for a second chance to continue to live with you… Thank goodness! You didn’t die in the accident, dear…

The Same Life
Hülya Uçar.

I am walking around every nook and cranny in empty streets. It is two in the morning. Cats flying over the trash, drunk man from left to right as a very known crossword, ambulance siren to be deathless, few cars passing the life, a really silent song of dark blue with the odd but familiar asphalt scent… Am I afraid of the dark ? Maybe yes, maybe no… It drives me mad to always feel the same feelings that hurt me deeply with far away faces walking miles further… I slowed down the pavements, the scent, the passing. Would I ever consider a plastic surgery if I had a different life, different street to pass away ? Living wills are available here or wherever I am if I have a cup of coffee every day. I just don’t want to answer silly questions, refuse to be questioned or cloned. Do I have the real right to tell what in my mind is, exactly ? I need to tell white lies, I like your red hair, it’s good on you, what a wonderful life, yeah everything is going well, I am fine. Time moves slowly, time moves quickly, passing the real pavements with deep breathing, if all the world were listening to me now, I would say that I needed a reason to talk with all of you, I don’t want to be a super hero, I want to have the right to be as I am exactly. Leaving my soul to an unknown street at night, I am home. White lies are okay. I am happy tonight .

White Lies
Hülya Uçar.